Monday, July 4, 2011
Give it up
It's not always easy to admit our faults. One of the biggest ones I have is trying to always be in control of things. If something's broke I want to fix it. If a friend is having a problem or a bad day I want to make it better. When things seem to pile up in my life I think a positive attitude is going to make all the difference. I know when life seems to be piling up that God just wants me to give it up to Him. There have been times when I thought I was letting Him have it all but in reality I was giving a little while still holding on. Recently I have had several things "pile" up, and God has used it to teach me something I desperately needed to learn. I have been on a journey since late December to lose the excess weight I have and become a healthy person. It is the one thing that I have to do for myself and it is so important to me. I feel it is the one thing that has held me back from truly living life. The first 6 weeks was really rough and I wanted to quit at least once a week but thankfully with very encouraging friends and a lot of prayer I didn't. I started seeing results. A few months ago I started having trouble with my thyroid which the doctor said may be an obstacle in my weight loss journey. I also was a little tired and have been anemic for a couple of months. Last week I was excessively tired and couldn't get out of bed on a Sunday morning. I had to go to the doctor and was diagnosed with Mono. I was told the only thing I could do was get plenty of rest and fluids and hang in there because I would feel yucky for 4 to 6 weeks. On top of that the doctor said no exercise. I didn't need another obstacle. The frequent doctor visits and testing have caused me to encounter a little over $2000 in medical bills that are my responsibility to pay. I was doing a few side jobs to make payments towards this but due to the restrictions I am not allowed to do until I recover from the Mono. Although I had prayed every day and felt I was doing all I could, my circumstances were getting worse instead of better. This was what I felt was my breaking point. I didn't know when I began crying that this "breaking point" would be a "break through point". I cried and prayed for several hours over two days. When I went to church on Sunday I talked to my Pastor and explained how broken I felt and how I just needed him to pray because I couldn't take anymore. God showed me that He would take care of things but I had to give it up......truly give it up and not hold on to it. I decided that is what I was going to do. I truly gave it to God and I'm not picking it back up. I felt the burden was lifted. I don't know what all God has in store for me and my life, but I do know that no matter what His plans are I have to have faith. I know that through Him I will have success in my weight loss, my health issues and my financial burdens. I learned a good lesson that God has been trying to teach me for a long time. I also learned that although my problems seemed excessive to me, there are many people who have it a lot harder than I do. I also began thinking about how many things there must be that God shields me from on a daily basis. I count those as unknown blessings. I pray I continue to grow spiritually and learn the things God wants me to learn. I want to be the person He has planned me to be, but most of all when He says to give it up, I want to do just that!